my december

this is my december
this is my time of the year
this is my december
this is all so clear
this is my december
this is my snow covered home
this is my december
this is me alone

and i
just wish that i didn't feel
like there was something i missed
and i
take back all the things i said
to make you feel like that
and i
just wish that i didn't feel
like there was something i missed
and i
take back all the things that i said to you

and i'd give it all away
just to have somewhere to go to
give it all away
to have someone to come home to

this is my december
these are my snow covered trees
this is me pretending
this is all i need

and i,
just wish that i didn't feel
like there was something i missed
and i
take back all the things i said
to make you feel like that
and i
just wish that i didn't feel
like there was something i missed
and i
take back all the things that i said to you

and i'd give it all away
just to have somewhere to go to
give it all away
to have someone to come home to

this is my december
this is my time of the year
this is my december
this is all so clear

give it all away
just to have somewhere to go to
give it all away
to have someone to come home to

papercut

why does it feel like night today?
something in here's not right today
why am i so uptight today?
paranoia's all i got left
i don't know what stressed me first
or how the pressure was fed/but
i know what it feels like
to have a voice in the back of my head
it's like a face that i hold inside
a face that awakes when i close my eyes
a face that whatches every time i lie
a face that laughs every time i fall
(and whatches everything)
so i know that when it's time to sink or swim
that the face inside is hearing me/right underneath my skin

it's like i'm/paranoid lookin' over my back
it's like a/whirlwind inside my head
it's like i can't stop but i'm hearing within
it's like the face inside is right beneath my skin


i know i've got a face in me
points out all the mistakes to me
you've got a faceon the inside too and
your parnoia's probaly worse
i don't know what set me off first but i know what i can't stand
everybody acts like the factof the matter is
i can't add up to what you can
but everybody has a face that they hold inside
a face that awakes when they close their eyes
a face whatches every time they lie
a face that laughs every time they fall
(and whatches everything)
so you know that when it's time to sink or swim
that the face inside is whatching you too/right inside your skin

then the sun goes down
i feel the light betray me

numb

i'm tired of being what you want me to be
feeling so faithless
lost under the surface
i don't know what you're expecting of me
put under the pressure
of walking in your shoes
[caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow]

i've become so numb
i can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
i'm becoming this
all i want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you.

can't you see that you're smothering me
holding too tightly
afraid to lose control
cause everything that you thought i would be
has fallen apart right in front of you.

[caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow]
every step that i take is another mistake to you
[caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow]
and every second i waste is more than i can take.

i've become so numb
i can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
i'm becoming this
all i want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you.

and i know
i may end up failing too

but i know
you were just like me
with someone disappointed in you.

i've become so numb
i can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
i'm becoming this
all i want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you.

i've become so numb
i can't feel you there
[tired of being what you want me to be]

from the inside

i don't know who to trust, no surprise
(everyone feels so far away from me)
heavy thoughts sift through dust
and the lies
(trying not to break,
but i'm so tired of this deceit
everytime i try to make myself
get back up on my feet
all i ever think about is this
all the tiring and time between
and how trying to put my trust in you
just takes so much out of me)

take everything from the inside
and throw it all away
cause i swear, for the last time
i won't trust myself with you


tension is building inside, steadily
(Eeeryone feels so far away from me)
heavy thoughts forcing their way, out of me
(trying not to break
but i'm so tired of this deceit
everytime i try to make myself
get back up on my feet
all i ever think about is this
all the tiring and time between
and how, trying to put my trust in you
just takes so much out of me)

i wont waste myself on you!
you!
waste myself on you!
you!

breaking the habit

memories consume
like opening the wound
i'm picking me apart again
you all assume
i'm safe here in my room
unless i try to start again

i don't want to be the one
the battles always choose
cause inside i realize
that i'm the one confused

i don't know what's worth fighting for
or why i have to scream
i don't know why i instigate
and say what i don't mean
i don't know how i got this way
i know it's not all right
so i'm breaking the habit
i'm breaking the habit tonight

clutching my cure
i tightly lock the door
i try to catch my breath again
i hurt much more
than any time before
i had no options left again


i dont want to be the one
the battles always choose
cause inside i realize
that i'm the one confused


i don't know what's worth fighting for
or why i have to scream
i don't know why i instigate
and say what i don't mean
i don't know how i got this way
i'll never be all right
so i'm breaking the habit
i'm breaking the habit tonight

i'll paint it on the walls
cause i'm the one at fault
i'll never fight again
and this is how it ends


i don't know what's worth fighting for
or why i have to scream
but now i have some clarity
to show you what i mean
i don't know how i got this way
i'll never be all right
so i'm breaking the habit
i'm breaking the habit
i'm breaking the habit... tonight

faint

i am
a little bit of loneliness
a little bit of disregard
handful of complaints
but i can't help the fact
that everyone can see these scars


i am
what i want you to want
what i want you to feel
but it's like no matter what i do
i can't convince you
to just believe this is real


so i
let go watching you
turn your back like you always do
face away and pretend that i'm not
but i'll be here cause
you are all that i've got


i can't feel the way i did before
don't turn your back on me
i won't be ignored
time won't heal
this damage anymore
don't turn your back on me
i won't be ignored


i am
a little bit insecure
a little unconfident
cause you don't understand
i do what i can
but sometimes i don't make sense


i am
what you never want to say
but i've never had a doubt
but it's like no matter what i do
i can't convince you
for once just to hear me out

so i
let go watching you
turn your back like you always do
face away and pretend that i'm not
but i'll be here cause you're all that i got


i can't feel
the way i did before
don't turn your back on me
i won't be ignored
time won't heal
this damage anymore
don't turn your back on me
i won't be ignored

noooo!

hear me out now
you're gonna listen to me
like it or not
right now
i can't feel
the way i did before
don't turn your back on me
i won't be ignored!
time won't heal
this damage anymore
don't turn your back on me
i won't be ignored

don't stay

sometimes i need to remember just to breathe
sometimes i need you to stay away from me
sometimes i'm in disbelief i didn't know
somehow i need you to go

don't stay
forget our memories
forget our possibilities
what you were changing me into
just give me myself back and
don't stay
forget our memories
forget our possibilities
take all your faithlessness with you
just give me myself back and
don't stay


sometimes i feel like i trusted you too well
sometimes i just feel like screaming at myself
sometimes I'm in disbelief i didn't know
somehow i need to be alone

i don't need you anymore, i don't want to be ignored
i don't need one more day of you wasting me away

with no apologies
don't stay

in the end

it starts with...
one thing,
i don't know why
it doesn't even matter how hard you try
keep that in mind
i designed this rhyme
to explain in due time
all i know…
time is a valuable thing
watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
watch it count down 'till the end of the day
the clock ticks life away
it's so unreal…
you didn't look out below
watch the time go right out the window
tryin to hold on
didn't even know, i wasted it all just to
watch you go…
i kept everything inside
and even though i tried
it all fell apart
what it meant to me
will eventually be
a memory of a time when


i tried so hard and got so far
but in the end
it doesn't even matter
i had to fall
to lose it all
but in the end
it doesn't even matter


one thing, i don't know why
it doesn't even matter how hard you try
keep that in mind
i designed this rhyme
to remind myself how
i tried so hard...
in spite of the way you were mocking me
acting like i was part of your property
remembering all the times you fought with me
i'm surprised it
got so(far)…
things aren't the way they were before
you wouldn't even recognize me anymore
not that you knew me back then
but it all comes back to me
in the end...
you kept everything inside
and even though i tried it all fell apart
what it meant to me
will eventually
be a memory of a time when


i tried so hard and got so far
but in the end
it doesn't even matter
i had to fall
to lose it all
but in the end
it doesn't even matter

i've put my trust in you
pushed as far as i can go
for all this
there's only one thing you should know

i've put my trust in you
pushed as far as i can go
for all this
there's only one thing you should know...

i tried so hard and got so far
but in the end
it doesn't even matter
i had to fall
to lose it all
but in the end
it doesn't even matter

runaway

graffiti decorations
under a sky of dust
a constant wave of tension
on top of broken trust
the lessons that you taught me
i learned were never true

now i find myself in question....
[they point the finger at me again]
guilty by association....
[you point the finger at me again]


i wanna run away
never say goodbye
i wanna know the truth
instead of wondering why
i wanna know the answers
no more lies
i wanna shut the door
and open up my mind

paper bags and angry voices
under a sky of dust
another wave of tension
has more than filled me up
all my talk of taking action
these words were never true

now i find myself in question....
[they point the finger at me again]
guilty by association....
[you point the finger at me again]


i wanna run away
never say goodbye
i wanna know the truth
instead of wondering why
i wanna know the answers
no more lies
i wanna shut the door
and open up my mind

crawling in my skin

crawling in my skin
these wounds they will not heal
fear is how i fall
confusing what is real

there's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
consuming/confusing
this lack of self-control i fear is never ending
controlling/i can't seem

to find myself again
my walls are closing in
(without a sense of confidence i'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)
i've felt this way before
so insecure

crawling in my skin
these wounds they will not heal
fear is how i fall
confusing what is real

discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me
distracting/reacting
against my will i stand beside my own reflection
it's haunting how i can't seem...


to find myself again
my walls are closing in
(without a sense of confidence i'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)
i've felt this way before
so insecure

crawling in my skin
these wounds they will not heal
fear is how i fall
confusing what is real

crawling in my skin
these wounds they will not heal
fear is how i fall
confusing confusing what is real

there's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
consuming/confusing what is real
this lack of self-control i fear is never ending
controlling/confusing what is real

one step closer

i cannot take this anymore
sayin' everything i've said before
all these words they make no sense
i found bliss in ignorance
less i hear the less you say
you'll find that out anyway

[just like before]

everything you say to me
[takes me one step closer to the edge]
and i'm about to break
i need a little room to breath
[cuz i'm one step closer to the edge]
i'm about to break

i find the answers aren't so clear
wish i could find a way to disappear
all these thoughts they make no sense
i found bliss in ignorance
nothing seems to go away
over and over again

[just like before]


everything you say to me
[takes me one step closer to the edge]
and i'm about to break
i need a little room to breathe
[cuz i'm one step closer to the edge]
and i'm about to break
everything you say to me
[takes me one step closer to the edge]
and i'm about to break
i need a little room to breathe
[cuz i'm one step closer to the edge]
and i'm about to!!!!

break!

shut up when im talkin to you!
shut up!


i'm about to break!
everything you say to me
[takes me one step closer to the edge]
and i'm about to break!
i need a little room to breath
[cuz i'm one step closer to the edge]
and i'm about to break!
everything you say to me
[takes me one step closer to the edge,]
and i'm about to break!