ironic

an old man, turned 98
he won the lottery, and died the next day
it's a black fly in a your chardonnay
it's a death row pardon, two minutes too late
and isn't it ironic?
don't you think?

it's like rain, on your wedding day
it's a free ride, when you've already paid
it's the good advice, that you just didn't take
and who would've thought? It figures


mr. play-it-safe, was afraid to fly
he packed his suitcase, and kissed his kids goodbye
he waited his whole damn life, to take that flight
and as the plane crashed down he thought
"well isn't this nice"?
and isn't it ironic?
don't you think?

it's like rain, on your wedding day
it's a free ride, when you've already paid
it's the good advice, that you just didn't take
and who would've thought? it figures


well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
when you think everything's okay
and everything's going right
and life has a funny way of helping you out
when you think everything's gone wrong
and everything blows up in your face


a traffic jam, when you're already late
a no smoking sign, on your cigarette break
it's like ten thousand spoons, when all you need is a knife
it's meeting the man of my dreams
and then meeting his beautiful wife
and isn't it ironic?
don't you think?
a little too ironic?
yeah i really do think

it's like rain, on your wedding day
it's a free ride, when you've already paid
it's the good advice, that you just didn't take
and who would've thought?
it figures


life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
and life has a funny, funny way,helping you out
helping you out

hand in my pocket

i'm broke but i'm happy
i'm poor but i'm kind
i'm short but i'm healthy, yeah

i'm high but i'm grounded
i'm sane but i'm overwhelmed
i'm lost but i'm hopeful, baby


and what it all comes down to
is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine
cause i've got one hand in my pocket
and the other one is giving a high five

i feel drunk but i'm sober
i'm young and i'm underpaid
i'm tired but i'm working, yeah

i care but i'm restless
i'm here but i'm really gone
i'm wrong and i'm sorry, baby


and what it all comes down to
is that everything's gonna be quite alright
cause i've got one hand in my pocket
and the other one is flicking a cigarette

what it all comes down to
is that i haven't got it all figured out just yet
cause i've got one hand in my pocket
and the other one is giving the peace sign

i'm free but i'm focused
i'm green but i'm wise
i'm hard but i'm friendly, baby

i'm sad but i'm laughing
i'm brave but i'm chicken shit
i'm sick but i'm pretty, baby

and what it all boils down to
is that no one's really got it figured out just yet
cause I've got one hand in my pocket
and the other one is playing the piano


what it all comes down to my dear friends, yeah
is that everything is just fine fine fine fine
cause i've got one hand in my pocket
and the other one is hailing a taxi cab...

you oughta know

i want you to know i'm happy for you
i wish nothing but the best for you both
an older version of me
is she perverted like me
would she go down on you in a theater
does she speak eloquently
and would she have your baby
i'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother


cause the love that you gave that we made
wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no
and every time you speak her name
does she know how you told me you'd hold me
until you died, 'til you died
but you're still alive

and i'm here to remind you
of the mess you left when you went away
it's not fair to deny me
of the cross i bear that you gave to me
you, you, you oughta know


you seem very well, things look peaceful
i'm not quite as well, i thought you should know
did you forget about me mr. duplicity
i hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
it was a slap in the face how quickly i was replaced
and now you're thinking of me when you fuck her

cause the love that you gave that we made
wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no
and every time you speak her name
does she know how you told me you'd hold me
until you died, 'til you died
but you're still alive


cause the joke that you laid in the bed that was me
and i'm not gonna fade as soon as you close your eyes
and you know it
and every time i scratch my nails down someone else's back
i hope you feel it...well can you feel it

crazy

a man decides after seventy years
that's what he goes there for, is to unlock the door
while those around him criticize and sleep
and through a fractal on a breaking wall
i see you my friend, and touch your face again
miracles will happen as we trip


but we're never gonna survive, unless we get a little crazy
no we're never gonna survive, unless we are a little

crazy

yellow people walking through my head
one of them's got a gun, to shoot the other one
and yet together they were friends at school
ohh, get it, get it, get it, get it no no!

if all were there when we first took the pill
then maybe, then maybe, then maybe, then maybe
miracles will happen as we speak

but we're never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy
no we're never gonna survive unless we are a little... crazy
no no, we'll never survive, unless we get a little bit


in a sky full of people, only some want to fly
isn't that crazy?
in a world full of people, only some want to fly
isn't that crazy?
crazy
in a heaven of people there's only some want to fly
ain't that crazy?
crazy

ohh
but we're never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy
no we're never gonna survive unless we are a little crazy
no no we'll never gonna survive unless, we get a little bit

hands clean

if it weren't for your maturity
none of this would have happened
if you weren't so wise beyond your years
i would've been able to control myself
if it weren't for my attention
you wouldn't have been successful and
if it weren't for me
you would never have amounted to very much

ooh this could be messy
but you don't seem to mind
ooh don't go telling everybody
and overlook this supposed crime

we'll fast forward to a few years later
and no one knows except the both of us
and i have honored your request for silence
and you've washed your hands clean of this

you're essentially an employee
and i like you having to depend on me
you're kind of my protege
and one day you'll say you learned all you know from me
i know you depend on me like a young thing would to a guardian
i know you sexualize me like a young thing would
and i think i like it


ooh this could get messy
but you don't seem to mind
ooh don't go telling everybody
and overlook this supposed crime

we'll fast forward to a few years later
and no one knows except the both of us
i've more than honored your request for silence
and you've washed your hands clean of this

what part of our history's reinvented
and under rug swept?
what part of your memory is selective
and tends to forget?
what with this distance it seems so obvious?

just make sure you don't tell on me
especially to members of your family
we best keep this to ourselves and not tell
any members of our inner posse
i wish i could tell the world cuz you're such a pretty thing
when you're done up properly
i might want to marry you one day
if you watch that weight and keep your firm body


ooh this could be messy and
ooh i don't seem to mind
ooh don't go telling everybody
and overlook this supposed crime